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Saturday, November 28, 2009
If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan I'd bring it to where you are Making a lake of the East River and Hudson And if I could open my mouth Wide enough for a marching band to march out They would make your name sing And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings often times, in rooms full of people - strangers, acquaintances, friends, special people (those who possess ears, hearts and minds safe enough to protect the most fragile of thoughts) i have this strangest urge to lunge at them; to suddenly embrace and smother them with this pink woolly blanket of love. I wish we could open our eyes To see in all directions at the same time Oh, what a beautiful view If you were never aware of what was around you not because this love is impersonal, but simply because this love is expandable. "it is possible", this love believes, "to trust and not be naive, at the same time." And it is true what you say That I live like a hermit in my own head But when the sun shines again I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in most interesting things happen when this love reflects back at you. it shapeshifts into curious forms; manifesting to it's sender in forms of yellow post-it notes, disposable cups of fruit juices or little plastic bags of surprises. Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound But while you debate half empty or half full It slowly rises, your love is going to drown but most unfortunately, this love is ethnocentric. so absorbed with its own abilities, this love becomes naive. and untrusting. notes become paper, drinks become liquid. words become sounds. Your love is going to drown Your love is going to drown Your love is going to drown Your love is going to drown Your love is going to . . . . what nab once overheard at a q&a with the late yasmin ahmad, my favourite malaysian director - College boy: "Umm.. Can I have your brain?" Yasmin: "No dear, it's not my brain that you want. It's my heart." Monday, November 02, 2009
confused, strange, lost,
stuck read this to me, and i'll come back to you how strange to look back at the yellowed pages of your past and not remember that you ever were Saturday, March 07, 2009
It is Friday, 6pm. Everyone is busy packing up to go home: images of a good weekend ahead at the forefront of their minds. Everyone is rushing accept Mr AdrianC, he sits calmly on his desk and continues to talk on the phone. He works for the government's financial counseling agency and his client at the moment is Madam O. Madam O used to live in a double-story bungalow. She used to drive a Honda Civic. She used to have a husband who was cheated RM4.5 million in a business deal and resorted to gambling to cure his depression. With her bank accounts frozen, her monthly income reduced to RM100 after the banks deduct her loans, a prescription of depression pills from the doctor and no one to help her, let alone talk to her: Suicide is at the forefront of her mind. ********************************** It is Friday, 9pm. Mr AdrianC finally hangs up. He has spent the past 5 hours talking to Madam O. He listens to her childhood, he listens to her struggle, he listens to her heart and becomes the first person to genuinely help her by providing her a step by step plan of who she needs to call and what she has to do. He was not doing his job, he was being a human being. "God must have sent you to me" Tonight, Madam O takes her first shower in 3 days because she feels happy with herself. Tonight, AdrianC is my Hero. I watched him save a life through a phone! Saturday, February 28, 2009
A community service message to all my friends who sleep past noon on a Saturday! Get an alarm clock! Let's go jogging! And get roti canai + sugar + pudina chutney + kuah kambing for breakfast. yummy! The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable. A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it. I turned the volume up on my radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning talk show. I heard an older-sounding chap with a golden voice. You know the kind. He sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business himself. He was talking about "a thousand marbles" to someone named "Tom." I was intrigued and sat down to listen to what he had to say. "Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job." I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your Family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital. " He continued, "Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles. "You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years. "Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now stick with me Tom, I'm getting to the important part. "It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. "So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to roundup 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in my workshop next to the radio. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. "I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight. "Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then God has blessed me with a little extra time to be with my loved ones...... "It was nice to talk to you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your loved ones, and I hope to meet you again someday. Have a good morning!" You could have heard a pin drop when he finished. Even the show's moderator didn't have anything to say for a few moments. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to do some work that morning, then go to the gym. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast." "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special," I said.
" It has just been a long time since we spent a Saturday
together
with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out?
I need to buy some marbles." Up next: Karma +1 level up programme! ps: yes, it HAS been 2 years since i last sang in choir. i wonder if i can still hit that high F# Thursday, December 13, 2007
Still feeling christmas-y, I went carolling in public for my first time yesterday
My ex choir coach, Melvin Ho, hooked me up with a contract to perform in KLCC for 5 days. I'm singing the soprano one part in a six person a capella group called "Vox-tonne" -_-"". If anyone happens to be in KLCC this weekend evening do throw us roses on the centre court stage ok!!
Lack of practice due to many, many cancelled sessions required us to do a very last minute meet up at melvin's place. But that's alright, only because he has lots of pets in his condo Including sugar gliders!
My dream pet is currently the sugar glider.They are such small, intelligent little things. They can actually bond to a keeper like how dogs do. I can imagine bringing my little suggie in a bonding pouch to work and let my manager baby sit it when i'm busy making lattes. Then when i'm done i'll call it and it'll come gliding to me However keeping a suggie is quite time consuming, as they need at least 3 hours of interaction a day or they'll die of depression It's like raising a teenager -__-
I don't mind keeping a fluffy little bunny too! I used to have 20+ running around in my garden. Like some rabbit farm, heehee Being at home feels so lonely most of the time. Would like a pet to keep me sane and company.
some of my ex schoolmates are also in "vox-tonne". Namely emily in soprano 2 and debbie in alto. Melvin has punctuality issues. He's always at least an hour late to practices. So it came as no surprise to us that we were still in the carpark of his condo at subang airport road with only 30 minutes till performance time. And mind you it was evening around 5 ish. We had no faith to reach there in half an hour with the office hour jam.
that, and the fact he still had to reiki us using his reiki powers before the journey. Reiki is this japanese technique which channels life force power. Apparently he took Reiki classes some time back so before i knew it, he was waving his arms around me channeling life force power O.o
emily had a sore throat, so he gave her hands some energy and asked her to keep her hands there throughout our whole journey there o.O
the poor poor organizer had to call 10 times to freak out on melvin's punctuality because we were 20 minutes late a really good instrumental group performed after us and made us feel like chicken chop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I stopped to search for a familiar face while passing by klcc's Chillis. It's been so long ago since i last seen or head from him. I only found out he was part timing there after meeting his father one day at Starbucks. I didn't do much thinking though. What if i really saw him last night. What would i say? "Hi" Then what? What do you say and how do you react to an exboyfriend you've cut contacts with? "Are you still keeping teddy?" "Could you give me that recipe for the salmon you once made?" "So how have things been going with you and that girl in college". Then what are you going to think, that i'm crazy? Fickle? After all i was the one who started the avoiding business. Sometimes i don't even know what i'm doing. No wonder men can't understand women.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
the red cups are out again! have you done your christmas shopping? I haven't To fund the most expensive festive season of the year i had to take up a few projects. One of them was the Starbucks Holiday Angel programme.
well the concept sounded really nice in the poster la. Basically holiday angels get paid to do random acts of kindness. From visiting orphanages, paying parking meters, to sampling food and drinks at random places. and with cute fluffy wings too! I had good.happy.thoughts. about the whole thing. Until they made me wake up at 6 to be a fruitcake sales girl in Gardens Internation School. <hmph> There are actually quite a number of gay people in the programme xD and i had to find this out the (moderately) hard way
we were waiting near the school guardhouse for the others to show up. So I had nothing better to do but to watch the little children play dodgeball. The two guys behind me had nothing better to do too but to check out the hot male mat salleh PE teacher -_- *insert manja voice* "teacher teacher, i don't know how to play dodgeballl...." "OH, teacher you're so healthy. OH, teacher you're so hairy!!" *fans self* -_____________________- AHAHAHA, i love gay people
fadz is the diva of our group, we nicknamed him heidi klum sigh,i love kids and all but some really make you feel bengang. I was trying to tell this little girl what i was going to give her from my sample tray but i sort of mumbled it because i was tired. Then she rolled her eyes at me and said rather rudely in this thick, heavy, american accent : "Aih did NAUGHT uhnduhstand a WEEERD eu saaid"
next day was much, much better. We went for a mini christmas concert in bangsar village mall. The organizers were really semangat with the concert, they didn't just call starbucks and their angels, they hired 3 clowns!
our job in the event was reaalllyy easy. Give people free food and drinks and pose for camera.
the guy in the middle is our "mercury man". His job is to wear a big ass bag full of iced coffee and literally spray it out of a nozzle inside a cup to give it to people. And oh, take photo with us as well cos he looks like a ghostbuster
Sw and Kit are an in-store couple! Just like me and Wilson Every single thing we winged ones did, the public would take a picture. So papparazzi, tried to eat one of my fruit cake samples also someone would shout "HOLD THAT POSE" and go *snap snap snap* -_-"
the highlight of my evening was riding a unicycle! Yup, that's right. Apparently i gave the unicyclist clown a look so he sorta challenged me to ride it too. I didn't know i was supposed to lean oh him while trying to pedal on the thing. So i kept screaming everytime i thought i was about to fall *shy*
haha, towards the ending of the event the angels got kinda psycho and started dancing publicly to the music that the bands were playing. The singers would invite us centre stage to dance so good angels would listen and go centre stage to dance lor! We were so semangat we mambo/ salsa/ cha cha/ can-can/ shuffle/ riverdance/ twist/ grooved/ ballet / belly dance in front of the world to see. whee! But an elderly foreign couple actually did join us dancing during the "La Bambda" song!
for the finale, the angels were called up on stage with the performers (really don't know where we suddenly got our balls from) and we all carolled together sempena christmas. I sang beside a pretty girl with a beautiful voice who could reach really high notes
i wanna do this again next year!
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omg have form 6 end year party in 12 hours @@ didn't sleep all night. wtf good night
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I don't understand why some people say that love is indescribable. It's so crystal clear to me. when i'm in love i feel my heart swell up from my insides, like she's transforming into her own character. She dub-dub's faster because she wants to come out and meet this loved one personally, to whisper giggled thank you's for making her feel so happy and special. She then gets a little favour from my reflexes, to make me smile for no reason, usually without me even noticing it, and she makes someone's face appear in my mind all the time! The nerves she has to do this to me! She wants to tell everyone how we're feeling, the same way she dub-dub's to me when she wants to give me her opinion. and i know, she's always honest to me. There was this guy i met some time ago. Everytime i was near him, she'd scream nervously to me "LOOK AT HIM, OKOK, NOW SMILLEEEEEE!!" i'm sure in a similiar way, most people should feel the same way i do when they are in love. so i don't understand why some people have trouble feeling it. It's as clear as a cloudless day to me But sometimes when it seems that everything is going wrong, i might forget what my heart once said to me. i would forget what is love, or how it feels like. Feeling betrayed, she would shrivel up as if she is frail and old because she knows i've lost faith with her. and there would be this big empty gap in my chest where she once proudly was. When she finally gets fed up with my moping, she hits me hard with a big ol' DUB. she hits me so hard that i cry. she hurts me back like how i've hurt her. But during her vengeance she wakes me up. She sees the opportunity to bring up his face again in my mind. And on his face she writes down everything she once said to me about love, so i don't forget. Now she's beating in rhythm again. Her dance is strong and bold because she wants to come out and meet that someone personally, to tell him "i'm sorry, and i love you" Tuesday, October 30, 2007
eMo) sCrUBieE.Calvin SeakŪ V says: i heard mid valley opening KRISPY KREME OMG!! so happy can danceingrandmapanties! wtfwtf, don't own them but they would come in useful maybe after wolfing down a dozen GIANT SUGAR GLAZZY'S!!! (ever watched bridget jones diary?) ps : guy is not sure, so for now all we can do is PRAY REALLY REALLY HARD lots of good donuts are invading malaysia! first came big apple if the best donut you've ever had in your life was dunkin donuts or (god forbid) carrefour donuts, leave your kids with a babysitter/ call in sick for work/ lompat pagar sekolah they are worth it
i made my first visit there with caryn after our starbucks holiday angel interview at berjaya times square. in the picture i was standing in a weekday line. in a weekend line it would be weekday line darab (x) 3!
haha, when caryn and i walked out of the store with 4 boxes of donuts an old man randomly stopped us and asked us if we got the donuts free "then why are there so many people?" "it's REALLY GOOD!!!!111"
the very plain looking donut you see up front is called a glazzy. a glazzy is a donut which has been glazed with sugar! (so it's some sort of a sugar donut) but don't be fooled!! this simple little beauty packs a mean punch that can somehow be described in 3 sentences: first bite - crunchy i don't know why, but that's EXACTLY how it tastes. and it tastes like heaven
that's my glazzy sitting in the box with my next top favourite, the alcopone i love the alcopone because of it's super crunchy texture from the nuts. the nuts are thinly sliced? and that's great because it makes sure that the taste of the nuts do not overwhelm the rest of the donut. the sweetness of the cream + crunchy nuts + soft dough = the experience of a trip to europe in winter. okay i'm exaggerating but it's really good okay! in this box i'm just going to talk about snow white, the bottom two donuts. caryn and i agree it should be renamed as cloud 9. because biting into a snow white is like biting on a fluffy white cloud -.- the sugar frosting gets all over your chin like powder, the softness of the dough, the SUPER softness of the whip cream inside. and again. i love how the mild sweetness of both cream and sugar frosting just complement the soft dough in between
the other donuts are good too but just make sure you don't leave the store without these 3
i can't believe i just dedicated a rare blog post to donuts. DONUTS!! Friday, October 26, 2007
am blogging from kfc in sarawak's airport *jakun*
will be on my way home in an hour. wait for me baby :) Tuesday, October 23, 2007
for some anti dadah campaign thing. students from other states will be there too! really excited ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ was looking through school event pictures to make a "memorabilia" for the guru besar. i found the form 6th society's annual general meeting pictures!!
the nominees for president post:
ahahha!! xD i look so nervous. constipated actually wtf. and leonardissotall.
our class unisex futsal team (6BSK1) also emerged as champions in the form 6 unisex futsal challenge. woohoo!! that's our nike ball which got dirampased by pn.rohaidah because some upper 6 boys used it and kena kantoi
alright, signing off. love, fern (;
ps : baby, when we do get to go on that langkawi holiday we're gonna board that plane and look tourist-y like this >>
take care, i love you
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about  sufern Female Malaysia  ON THE LOOSE! Inane hyperactive talkative weird thing called FERN. If seen, please give the following:: :D *please* If spotted, approach as she will jolly well be happy to meet you :):) To catch, contact her at sufern_puppylove@hotmail.com have a nice day calendar
linkages fern friends |
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plus their noctournal so they'll only be active at night when i'm trying desperately to get some sleep. It's a lifetime commitment too because suggies have a life span of about 14 years.
and the digits from presents alone are adding themselves in my mind due to sheer panic. Tis the season to be giving - my mummy a heart attack from my atm balance of RM0.77,haha! 
